Do you see this tireless, desperate attempt?
God, do you see me trying not to fade?
I wrestle daily with the current bent
To break the promises so quickly made.
I stand upon the cracked and shifting ground,
Committed to the race, but failing still;
A whispered prayer is often all that's found
Above the broken pieces of my will.
I want the closeness that is ever true,
To be in Your embrace—my final rest.
You are the Father I have never known,
The missing love that aches within my breast.
I never understood what kinship meant,
But feel the piercing need for it so deep;
My whole bruised heart towards Your arms is sent,
The only place where faithful vows can keep.
I study Your demeanor, bright and vast,
And try to mirror every perfect trait;
But find the shadow of my failures cast
Across the threshold daily, and too late.
I fight to stay afloat, I kick and strain
Against the current of the world You made;
God, is there purpose to this constant pain,
This heavy burden that cannot be laid?
I hunger for the moment I arrive,
To hear that gentle, crucial “Well done, son”;
To know my struggling spirit did survive,
To see my name inscribed when all is done.
I am exhausted on this journey home,
My weary feet are stumbling on the dust;
Yet I keep moving, lest I cease to roam,
Fueled only by this fragile, burning trust.
Oh, God, I love You with this aching soul.
Do You see the persistence in the plea?
Please never let the darkness take its toll,
Please never let Your grip release of me.
I may be weak, but I am truly here;
I am still trying—can You look and see?
Can you see? Can you hear? Can You draw near
And just affirm this effort lives in me?
