Fontessa: Do you see this tireless, desperate attempt?

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

God, do you see me trying not to fade?

I wrestle daily with the current bent

To break the promises so quickly made.

I stand upon the cracked and shifting ground,

Committed to the race, but failing still;

A whispered prayer is often all that's found

Above the broken pieces of my will.

I want the closeness that is ever true,

To be in Your embrace—my final rest.

You are the Father I have never known,

The missing love that aches within my breast.

I never understood what kinship meant,

But feel the piercing need for it so deep;

My whole bruised heart towards Your arms is sent,

The only place where faithful vows can keep.

I study Your demeanor, bright and vast,

And try to mirror every perfect trait;

But find the shadow of my failures cast

Across the threshold daily, and too late.

I fight to stay afloat, I kick and strain

Against the current of the world You made;

God, is there purpose to this constant pain,

This heavy burden that cannot be laid?

I hunger for the moment I arrive,

To hear that gentle, crucial “Well done, son”;

To know my struggling spirit did survive,

To see my name inscribed when all is done.

I am exhausted on this journey home,

My weary feet are stumbling on the dust;

Yet I keep moving, lest I cease to roam,

Fueled only by this fragile, burning trust.

Oh, God, I love You with this aching soul.

Do You see the persistence in the plea?

Please never let the darkness take its toll,

Please never let Your grip release of me.

I may be weak, but I am truly here;

I am still trying—can You look and see?

Can you see? Can you hear? Can You draw near

And just affirm this effort lives in me?

Fontessa