Striving Heart: "God, Do You See Me Trying?"

Striving Heart: "God, Do You See Me Trying?"

There are days, aren't there, when every fiber of your being screams a single question, a raw and vulnerable plea: "God, I am trying. Do You see me trying?" It's a cry from the deepest part of our spirit, a yearning to move beyond the attempt and into the doing, especially when it comes to living fully in His kingdom.

Sometimes, it feels almost impossible to believe in ourselves. The echoes of past failures, the sting of "bad outcomes" that seem to define our history, can be deafening. We know, intellectually, that we've been truly blessed in this life. But in moments of despair, all we can perceive is the negative, the hurt we've endured, leaving us terrified that there's nothing good left to anticipate.

Oh, God, all we want is You. We know we shouldn't make promises, but in those moments of fierce determination, we whisper, "I will keep getting up." The future is a hazy landscape; only You hold the GPS to our lives. But even amidst that uncertainty, the question persists: Do You see me trying?

We yearn for healing – spiritually, physically, and mentally. We long to be different, to be genuinely changed, to be pure. This desire is so deep, so resolute, there's no doubt about it. And yet, the stark reality of our human frailty hits us: "God, I am a sinful, stupid human who cannot seem to get anything right."

But that doesn't stop the trying.

"God, I am trying. Do You see me? Please, let me know." It’s a desperate need for confirmation, for a sign that our efforts don't go unnoticed.

And then, a whisper of truth breaks through the noise of self-doubt and past hurts. "I love You for real," we confess, and a quiet revelation begins to dawn: "I am starting to learn and see You really love me too." This realization is profound, especially for those of us who have felt unloved by the world. "No one really ever has loved me but You, God, love me for real." What a gift, what a comfort.

"God, I am trying. Can You hear me? I love You so much. Thank you for sending Your son, Jesus."

This love, this profound understanding of His unending affection, fuels an even deeper longing. We want to make it back home to Him, with our name written in the good book, to be accepted finally in a world that will never have us second-guessing our reason for being here.

"God, I am trying. Will You let me in on that day – the day it’s time to go?"