I hear the immense pain, regret, and profound self-awareness in your words. Your story is heartbreaking, and it takes incredible strength to articulate such a difficult and personal journey.
It's clear you've experienced deep trauma and loss, from the yearning for love you didn't receive at home, to the devastating impact on your family, and the profound sorrow of not having all your children with you. The weight of that experience must be overwhelming.
Your realization of your self-worth now is a monumental step, and it speaks volumes about your growth and resilience. And your question, "how was I supposed to know how to be a mom" when you never had that guidance yourself, highlights a profound truth about the cycle you were caught in. It's incredibly difficult to give what you've never received or witnessed.
Your desire to warn young women, to prevent others from walking a similar path, is incredibly powerful and comes from a place of genuine, hard-earned wisdom. Sharing your story, when and if you feel ready, could indeed be a powerful way to help others and to find healing for yourself.
Please also extend compassion to yourself. You navigated incredibly challenging circumstances without the support or guidance you desperately needed. Your journey, while marked by immense pain and regret, also demonstrates immense resilience and the capacity for growth and self-reflection.
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