Rochelle Dawson

Oh, Mother… Oh, Mother, how I miss you. It's been so long since you passed away in 2010, and sometimes it feels like just yesterday. You didn't get to see so much of my growth, the woman I've become, and how much I've truly changed. But I know, deep in my heart, you would be so proud of me.

Rochelle Dawson. My mother, whom I love so, so much. It's true, we never got along much back then, but I would die for you, just to stay in touch, just to have another moment. Oh, Mother, you would be so proud of me now.I am, and I have been, doing better than you last saw me. I have truly become a better mother myself. I have graduated, I received my actual high school diploma! Something I know you always wanted for me.

Oh, Mother, I was married, and though my husband died, I got a chance to truly feel what it feels like to be loved, deeply and truly. And I've gotten two of my kids back, Mom, and you would be so proud of how far we've come.

Most importantly, I've given my life back to God, serving God only, just like you tried so hard to teach me. Oh, Mom, I miss you and I love you. Rest in Peace, until we meet again, my beautiful mother.

I miss you, Mommy. I never really got to be Mommy's little girl, did I? But Mommy, I never stopped loving you. And now, I know. I understand now what you must have gone through because I, too, am a mother.

I am so sorry, Mom, for how I treated you. And I know, I truly know, I can forgive you. I love you so much, Rochelle Dawson.

Rochelle Dawson. Say it again. Don't ever forget this woman who inspired me to be better, to reach for more, to never give up. I did it, Mom. I did it!

I am much better now mommy God has me now until we meet again

Love, your crazy daughter, Fontessa.

Rochelle Dawson I miss you mommy

Oh Mother, Rochelle Dawson, how I miss you so,

Since 2010, the year you had to go.

You didn't see the woman I've become,

The changes deep, the victories won.

Oh, Mother, you would be so proud, it's true,

Of all the growth I've stepped into.

We never always got along, dear Mom,

Our paths diverged, in quiet storm.

Yet, for you, I would have faced any tide,

Just to keep our spirit, side by side.

My love for you, Rochelle, runs deep and wide,

A bond no passing years can hide.

I'm doing better than you last saw me, Mom,

A calmer heart, a stronger palm.

I've learned to be a better mother, kind and strong,

And Mom, I graduated, where I truly belong.

My high school diploma, held high and bright,

A beacon burning through the night.

I felt true love, Mom, in marriage's gentle grace,

Though my dear husband left this earthly space.

I knew what it felt like, to be cherished, adored,

A precious understanding, deeply stored.

And of my children, a blessing I embrace,

I've got two of my babies back, back in their proper place.

You tried to teach me, Mom, about God's light,

To serve Him always, with all my might.

And now, my life is given back to Him alone,

That seed you planted, beautifully grown.

Oh Mother, I miss you, with a longing deep,

May you rest in peace, while my memories I keep.

I never got to be your little girl, so sweet,

But now, as a mother, our journeys meet.

I know the struggles, the burdens that you bore,

And for the past, I'm sorry to my core.

The pain I caused, the words so sharp and keen,

Now I can forgive you, on this healing scene.

Rochelle Dawson, your name I speak with pride,

A woman whose strength became my guide.

"I did it, Mom! I did it!" my spirit cries,

Inspired by you, beneath these skies.

From Fontessa, your crazy daughter, with love profound,

Your legacy, dear Mother, is forever crowned.

Oh Mom, I love you forever and always, without end,

Till we meet again

I want to stay in the GODS classroom

I want to stay in the GODS classroom.

I am now in a place in my life where my relationship with Jesus is more important than anything in this world. I am not going to say I do not struggle, but me killing my flesh daily. I am starting to understand the reason God made me. I want to encourage you to stay in God's face and finish the race till its time for us to go home. 

To "stay in God's classroom" is a metaphor for actively engaging with God's teachings and wisdom in daily life, which involves immersing oneself in scripture, prayer, and seeking guidance from others, rather than being distracted by negativity or complaining. It means recognizing that life's challenges are opportunities for spiritual growth, and that God's presence and Spirit equip individuals to overcome difficulties and to act as conduits of His love and grace.

Verses on Seeking God's Wisdom and Learning

Proverbs 18:15: "The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge; the ears of the wise seek it out". This verse suggests that a wise person actively seeks out and desires to learn, implying a consistent attitude of learning that could be seen as staying in a "classroom" of wisdom. 

1 Corinthians 2:9: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him". This verse speaks to the vast and incredible things God prepares for those who follow Him, suggesting a continuous revelation of His truth and purpose for those who love Him. 

2 Timothy 3:16: "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness". This highlights the value of God's Word as a tool for lifelong learning and growth in righteousness. 

Verses on Enduring Through Challenges

Hebrews 12:1: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us". This metaphor of a "race" suggests a continuous journey, a "classroom" where perseverance is key to reaching the finish line and receiving God's promises. 

John 16:33: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world". Even when facing trials, this verse encourages followers to take heart and rely on Christ's victory, which is a form of learning and growing within the difficult circumstances of life.

Embracing the Surrender: My Journey to Becoming a True Disciple of Jesus

Embracing the Surrender: My Journey to Becoming a True Disciple of Jesus

In the journey of life, everyone encounters moments of deep reflection and spiritual awakening. For many, this path leads to a commitment that transcends self—a life rooted in devotion, love, and steadfast faith. As I stand at this crossroads in my own life, I'm driven to share my experience of embracing the call to be a true disciple of Jesus. While I may not grasp every detail of this journey, I am wholeheartedly devoted to a life where God plays the central role.

This post is not just a recounting of my experiences; it serves as an invitation for others to explore the transformative power of surrendering to divine love.

The Call to Discipleship

Being a disciple requires more than a casual commitment; it involves a sincere desire to walk with God in all facets of life. The call prompts us to let go of our own desires and regrets, allowing His purpose to take the forefront.

It's vital to understand that this commitment is not a one-time choice but a daily act of surrender. Each day brings its own challenges and setbacks, providing us with the chance to lean into our faith. For example, studies show that 74% of individuals who actively engage in daily spiritual practices report feeling more at peace and less stressed.

Understanding the Struggles

Life is often filled with distractions that lead us off our intended path. The weight of our responsibilities can feel overwhelming, and human imperfections add to our suffering. Yet, these struggles clarify our call to discipleship.

Embracing this journey can create fear and uncertainty. We may wonder, "Can I really do this?" or "Do I deserve this?" These questions can be daunting, but they need not define us. Instead, they should move us to rely on God, discovering that His strength shines brightest in our vulnerability.

The Beauty of Surrender

Surrendering to God's will is one of the most profound acts of faith we can offer. Recognizing that we don’t have to understand every element of our journey liberates us from anxiety and self-doubt. We enter a loving relationship rooted in trust, reaffirming our commitment to discipleship.

In a world full of noise, what truly matters is the relationship we build with God. By shifting our attention to Him, we can discover purpose even amidst chaos. This journey encourages us to express His love to others, spreading hope and compassion.

A Life of Purpose

Discipleship means consciously choosing to live with intention. It's about making decisions that uplift ourselves and honor God. Every thought, word, and action can stand as a testament to our faith when our relationship with Him is prioritized.

In pursuing this purpose, I actively seek avenues to uplift those around me. Sharing God’s word becomes a natural extension of our faith. According to surveys, 63% of people feel inspired to take action when they hear stories of kindness and faith.

Perseverance Through Pain

The road to true discipleship often involves pain and hardship. We may grapple with the consequences of our actions. Yet, it's essential to acknowledge that God's love surpasses our failures.

As I process my own pain and the pain I may have caused others, I find renewed determination. I am resolved to embrace my calling fully and share the transforming love I've experienced. Every day, I strive to embody the grace I've received, choosing to forgive and grow.

Thankfulness for Grace

No matter where we are on our spiritual paths, one truth remains: God's grace is always available. This grace fuels my belief in second chances. I cherish each new opportunity to deepen my faith and devotion as a disciple of Jesus.

Through both challenges and joyful moments, I'm learning to embrace life as a new creation in Christ. The gratitude I feel motivates me to share God’s message and encourages me to continue walking forward in faith and love.

A Shared Journey

As I conclude this reflection on my journey to becoming a true disciple of Jesus, I want to remind you that this life is filled with both challenges and beautiful moments of grace. Embracing the call to discipleship is a decision that profoundly transforms us and those around us.

By surrendering our lives to God, we accept His invitation to walk closely with Him. In a world that desperately needs love and light, let’s step forward together.

I encourage you to explore what it means to fully surrender to God and to live as a true disciple. Together, we can navigate this journey, celebrating victories and face challenges, while witnessing the amazing changes that faith can produce.

Let’s turn our lives into a testament to the love that can change everything. Thank you, God, for rescuing me and granting me another chance. I am all in.

From Abandonment to Acceptance How I Discovered God's Unconditional Love

In life, many of us grapple with feelings of abandonment, yearning for acceptance from those we believed should love us. This journey can be painful and challenging, but it can also lead to transformation and overwhelming love. The struggle often illuminates a path toward discovering the unconditional love that can change everything.

The Early Years: Rooted in Loneliness

As a child, I felt like I was always sitting on the sidelines, never chosen for anything significant. With a father struggling with addiction and a mother whose anger often overshadowed her affection, my upbringing left me with an unquenchable thirst for love. I grew up in a household of five children, where competition for attention was fierce. According to statistics, about 40% of children in households with substance abuse feel neglected and uncared-for, and I was one of them.

In a chaotic environment, a warm meal or kind word seemed like a rarity. Instead, silence and resentment filled the gaps, deepening my feelings of loneliness. I remember vividly standing silently in front of my mother, hoping for a glance or a smile, but often receiving a brief dismissive wave instead. These moments left me feeling invisible, as if I didn't exist in my own family.

Anger: A Response to Pain

As I grew older, anger took root inside me. Resentment bubbled toward the world and those who seemed to have everything. According to psychological studies, anger can increase by as much as 50% in individuals who feel abandoned, making it a common response. I questioned why love seemed to evade me while others easily connected and celebrated milestones like birthdays and graduations.

Every failed relationship seemed to harden my heart more. Friends and acquaintances treated me like a ghost, celebrating their joys while I felt trapped in despair. I yearned for acceptance but found myself stuck in a cycle of bitterness.

The Turning Point: Embracing Faith

In the depth of my struggle, a flicker of hope emerged through faith. As a grown woman, I began seeking meaning beyond my circumstances. In doing so, I discovered that God saw me, chose me, and loved me fiercely, even when I felt unworthy. This realization transformed my life dramatically.

Understanding that my worth wasn't tied to those who overlooked me was liberating. I learned that over 85% of people who embrace faith report improved emotional well-being. For me, this newfound belief helped me see potential, resilience, and beauty within myself that I hadn't recognized before.

Finding Acceptance in God's Love

As I embraced my faith, self-acceptance became a vital part of my journey. Chasing after absent love no longer consumed me. I learned to embrace myself—imperfections and all—because the Creator of the universe had chosen me.

Gradually, my anger melted away, replaced by a profound sense of belonging. Instead of feeling bitterness about my past, I embraced gratitude. I was no longer defined by my experiences of abandonment but by the unconditional love that had chosen me.

The Power of Forgiveness

One of the most significant gifts of this journey was the ability to forgive. I learned how crucial it was to forgive not just my family for their shortcomings but to forgive myself for holding onto anger for too long. Forgiveness became a cornerstone of my healing process.

Letting go of the burdens I carried shifted my perspective and opened me up to inner peace. It is often said that forgiveness can reduce stress and improve mental health, and it certainly did for me. This understanding became a turning point in my emotional and spiritual growth.

The Journey Ahead: A Life of Purpose

Having tasted the transformative power of God’s unconditional love, I now feel compelled to share my story with others. I want those who feel abandoned or unchosen to understand they are not alone. There is hope, healing, and a love that transcends all understanding.

Through speaking engagements, writing, and community outreach, I aspire to connect with those who may feel as I once did—lost and unloved. My goal is to inspire others to seek self-worth in their relationship with God, who promises unwavering support.

A New Chapter in My Life

My journey from abandonment to acceptance has been challenging but transformative. It’s a winding path filled with uncertainty, pain, and lessons learned along the way. Through it all, I realized I was never truly alone—God was always there, waiting for me to choose Him.

Today, I stand secure in my identity as a cherished daughter of God. Each lesson from my past is carried with gratitude, shaping who I am today. Daily, I affirm: I was chosen, I am loved, and I can never go back.

As you navigate your feelings of abandonment and seek acceptance, remember this: You too are chosen. You are loved beyond measure, and your story is still unfolding. Allow faith to guide you, and embrace the love that was always meant for you.

The Sculptor's Hand, the Savior's Grace,

The Sculptor's Hand, the Savior's Grace,

My Father God, you fill this space.

You found me lost, a broken thing,

And whispered hopes that let me sing.

You carved me new, a work of art,

A brand new spirit, a brand new start.

Where shadows lingered, doubts held sway,

You chased the darkness far away.

I could not love the self I knew,

Trapped in despair, and feeling blue.

But you, dear God, saw worth within,

And loved me fiercely, saved from sin.

I don't deserve the gifts you lend,

The endless mercy, without end.

Yet grace you offer, freely poured,

My everything, my life, my Lord.

I stumble, stray, and lose my way,

But in your light, I find the day.

Drawn back to you, my guiding star,

You heal my wounds, and mend each scar.

So thank you, God, for all you've done,

A battle fought, a victory won.

Forevermore, my heart's true plea,

My Father God, I love you endlessly.

Broken but Chosen: How God Uses Imperfect People in Extraordinary Ways

Broken but Chosen: How God Uses Imperfect People in Extraordinary Ways

Many of us feel weighed down by past mistakes, failures, and regrets. It can be hard to believe that our brokenness does not disqualify us from a meaningful purpose. Yet, the Bible is filled with stories that prove God regularly uses imperfect people in extraordinary ways. From leaders to prophets, these examples show that no one is beyond redemption. If you're questioning whether God can use you, take heart. Your story may be just beginning.

The Call of Moses

Moses stands out as one of the most well-known figures in the Bible. He was chosen to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt, but he struggled deeply with a speech impediment and a complicated past, including the murder of an Egyptian official. Despite his shortcomings, God selected Moses for an incredible mission. 

This shows us that our weaknesses can be channels for divine purposes. In Exodus 4:10-12, God reassured Moses, promising to help him speak and teach him what to say. Moses's journey teaches us that it is not our past that defines our future; it’s our willingness to respond to God’s call. 

Eye-level view of a rocky mountain path under a clear blue sky

The journey of Moses depicted through nature's rugged terrain.

The Heart of David

King David exemplifies how God uses broken individuals. Despite being a powerful king, David committed adultery and orchestrated the murder of Uriah. Yet, God called him "a man after His own heart." This demonstrates that with genuine repentance, God can still use us significantly. 

David's life reveals God’s immense grace. For example, in Psalm 51, David sought forgiveness, showing us that no sin is too great for God's redemptive power. Through David, God established a legacy that includes Jesus, reminding us that God can turn our failures into something precious.

The Transformation of Paul

Paul's transformation is striking. Once he was a notorious persecutor of Christians, but he became one of the most influential apostles in spreading the gospel. After his encounter with Christ on the road to Damascus, Paul wrote approximately 13 of the 27 books in the New Testament. 

If God can transform someone who once dedicated his life to hunting Christians into a major advocate for the faith, surely He can use anyone who turns to Him. Paul's journey emphasizes that redemption is always possible.

The Courage of Rahab

In the book of Joshua, we find Rahab, a prostitute living in Jericho. She saved Israelite spies, demonstrating remarkable faith in God. Because of her actions, she and her family were spared when Jericho fell. Rahab is mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1:5. 

Her story illustrates that God values faith over perfection. Rahab’s courage shows us that God can redeem anyone. Her faith in a time of uncertainty teaches us that we are never beyond hope.

The Trials of Joseph

Joseph's life involves tremendous betrayal and resilience. After being abused by his brothers and sold into slavery, Joseph faced many trials. However, through these challenges, God was preparing him for a higher purpose. Eventually, he became second-in-command in Egypt and saved countless lives during a famine that affected an estimated 70,000 people. 

joseph's journey teaches us that God can transform painful experiences into blessings. When we remain faithful during hard times, we can see how God is at work behind the scenes.

The Faith of Job

Job faced unimaginable suffering—losing his wealth, health, and family. Yet, even in his darkest hours, he remained faithful to God. In the end, God restored everything Job had lost and blessed him with even more than before. Statistics show that those who practice gratitude, like Job, experience improved mental health and resilience.

Job's story serves as a testament that growth often comes through suffering. Even while enduring pain, we can find purpose, reminding us that brokenness can lead to extraordinary blessing.

Elijah’s Struggles

Elijah, a prominent prophet, won a significant victory on Mount Carmel but later fell into despair, even wishing for death. Yet God did not abandon him. Instead, He provided food, rest, and a renewed purpose. 

This message speaks to our mental health. Like Elijah, we can feel overwhelmed, but God is always there to lift us up and guide us through desperate times.

Gideon’s Fear

When God first called Gideon, he was filled with doubts about his abilities. Yet, through God’s encouragement, Gideon became a mighty warrior, leading Israel to victory over the Midianites with just 300 men. This battle reduced the odds by an astonishing 99%. 

Gideon's experience teaches us that feeling inadequate does not disqualify us from God's plans. If we surrender our fears to Him, incredible victories can unfold.

Samson’s Weaknesses

Samson, gifted with extraordinary strength, is also marked by his failures and impulsive behavior. Despite this, he ultimately cried out to God for strength during his final moments, bringing down the temple of the Philistines and securing victory for Israel. 

Samson’s life is a powerful reminder that even those who face setbacks can achieve greatness when they return to God. His story inspires us to seek God's guidance through our weaknesses.

Noah's New Beginning

Noah is known for his righteousness and chosen to build an ark to save humanity from the flood. Afterward, he struggled with drunkenness. Yet God still had a special purpose for Noah and his family after the floodwaters receded. 

This underscores that a single poor choice does not erase the good we are capable of. No matter what mistakes we make, God can still work through us.

Abraham’s Age

God called Abraham to be the father of nations when he was well past childbearing age. Despite the odds, Abraham stepped out in faith and became a central figure in Biblical history. 

Abraham's journey emphasizes that it is never too late to answer God's call. Regardless of our stage in life, God's promises remain intact.

Your Story Isn’t Over

If God can take the lives of these broken individuals and turn them into powerful testimonies of grace, imagine what He can do with you. No matter your past or current struggles, God loves you and wants to use your life for incredible purposes. You simply need to give your life back to Him. 

It's time to embrace your worth and allow God to work through you. You are not alone in your brokenness; you are chosen, and your story is still being written.

High angle view of a sunlit pathway leading into the woods

A pathway symbolizing the journey from brokenness to purpose in life.

God I am saying YES to the call

In the quiet whispers of the night,

A gentle tug, a flickering light,

God, I am saying yes to the call,

To rise, to wander, to give it my all.

Through valleys deep and mountains high,

With faith as my compass, I’ll reach for the sky,

In the face of doubt, I’ll stand up tall,

With courage ignited, I answer the call.

Each step a promise, each breath a prayer,

Embracing the journey, I shed every care,

With love as my armor, I’ll never fall,

For in every heartbeat, I hear the call.

Through storms that may rage and shadows that loom,

I’ll carry the light, dispelling the gloom,

With grace as my guide, I’ll never stall,

For every adventure, I’m ready to haul.

God, I am saying yes, though the path may be steep,

In the arms of the unknown, my spirit will leap,

In unity and service, I’ll stand for them all,

With an open heart, I am answering the call.

So let the winds blow and the rivers run wild,

With trust in the promise of the Divine Child,

For in every moment, big or small,

I am here, I am willing, I’m saying yes to the call.

Fontessa Parence 

Being called by God

Being called by God" often manifests as a deep, inner conviction or strong desire to dedicate your life to a higher purpose, usually accompanied by a sense of peace and clarity about a specific path to follow, often involving serving others, living according to spiritual values, and actively engaging with your faith through prayer and scripture study; it can feel like a strong pull towards a particular mission or area of service, even if it isn't immediately clear what that looks like. 

Key characteristics of being called by God:

A sense of purpose: Feeling a deep understanding that your life has a greater meaning beyond personal pursuits. 

Inner peace and clarity: Experiencing a sense of knowing, even when facing uncertainty, about the direction you should take. 

Strong desire to serve others: Feeling compelled to help others and make a positive impact on the world. 

Increased devotion to prayer and scripture study: A growing desire to deepen your relationship with God through prayer and studying religious texts. 

Alignment with your gifts and talents: Recognizing natural abilities that can be used to fulfill your calling. 

Confirmation through community: Receiving encouragement and support from others who recognize your potential calling

Journey to Divine Love

 Fontessa's Journey to Divine Love

In a small, forgotten town nestled between mountains and rivers, Fontessa Harris, a fiercely independent young woman, grapples with her perception of love and worth. Raised in a broken home, she lost her parents at a young age and was thrust into the harsh realities of life alone. The void of familial love left her emotionally guarded, hardened by betrayal and disappointment. As she maneuvers through the complexities of adulthood, Fontessa often wonders, "Who really loves you in this thing called life?"

Amidst the struggle, Fontessa encounters an elderly woman named turtle blue, who becomes a mentor and unwavering support. turtle blue,a devout woman filled with wisdom about faith and love, introduces Fontessa to the concept that true love emanates from God. As Fontessa spends time with turtle blue,she begins to hear stories of divine love, compassion, and unconditional acceptance that transform her perspective on relationships.

One evening, feeling particularly lost, Fontessa wanders to a serene hilltop overlooking her town. As she gazes at the stars, Fontessa feels a profound sense of connection to something greater than herself. In that moment of vulnerability, she silently cries out to God, reflecting on her loneliness and longing for familial love. To her surprise, she receives a vision—a comforting warmth envelops her, and for the first time, she feels a tenderness that transcends her hardened heart. She realizes that God is the father and mother she never had, and in that understanding, she begins to soften.

Fontessa’s journey doesn’t come without challenges. Confronted by her past traumas, she struggles to let go of the bitterness that has defined her life. But with turtle blue,guidance and her newfound understanding of divine love, Fontessa begins to heal. She learns that love is not just about receiving; it’s also about giving. She starts to engage with her community, fostering connections with neighbors and helping those in need, which brings her the fulfillment she so desperately sought.

As the seasons change, Fontessa’s heart continues to blossom. She writes letters of gratitude to God, expressing her newfound love and appreciation for the family that she has found through faith and service to others.

In a pivotal moment, she helps organize a community event aimed at uniting the townsfolk, many of whom also suffer from feelings of isolation and neglect. As she facilitates support and love within the community, Fontessa sees reflections of her journey in others, realizing that love, like God, manifests in many forms.

Ultimately, Fontessa confronts her past, forgiving those who hurt her and embracing her true self—vulnerable but supported by the loving presence of God. As she stands atop that hill once again, she no longer feels empty; instead, she feels overflowing with divine love. In her heart, she knows that love comes from God, and it is through experiencing and sharing that love that she has truly begun to live.

Themes:

The transformative power of divine love

Forgiveness and healing from past trauma

The importance of community and connection

Self-discovery and vulnerability

The journey from hardship to hope through faith